When moved to Texas from New Jersey 32 years ago I couldn't understand why the people moved and talked so slowly. It was torture to have a conversation with a native. Over the years my speech patterns have changed. I sound more like one of them than like the Yankee I was. However, I never understood why things seemed to move so slowly.....until now.
The 10 day forecast for my area shows day after day of temperatures over 105F. This, after 30 days over 100. I understand that there is nothing to be done about it...shoot the weatherman!....the crowd in my head is chanting....SHOOT THE WEATHERMAN! The purely practical me knows that it is just weather and soon enough it will change....well not soon enough....but it will change. (It is 2:54 pm and 105 as I write this.)
I've not so much been effected by the extreme heat. (Thank You God for a working air conditioner, and a well employed and loving spouse). It is definitely hot out, but I don't go out that much and I plan my chores for the early mornings when it is coolest out. I do not feel hot so much as oppressed. Sounds crazy doesn't it. When I step out my front door it feels like it must feel to the Thanksgiving turkey as it is being shoved into an oven. My skin prickles and cracks. My mouth goes dry. The world feels strangely heavy and close. Hot air rises, but there is no low low enough to get away from this heat. It is crushing. The weight of it keeps me from moving very quickly, even inside my lovely air conditioned home, even when I'm consuming vast amounts of caffeine.
So, Texans, this is my formal apology to you and all residents of the glorious South. I finally get it.