Rainy Day Soul Searching

Thinking on a rainy day can be a really bad idea....especially for a deep sinking thinking bottom dweller like my self.

Waldorf is busy working on a bright yellow and blue quilt.  Very springy, and very happy...

 

 

My big dog is snoozing at my side....

 

 

Yup, she is THAT big!!  Rae loves me.  Love is the only word I can come up to describe her devotion to me, and that makes her dust puppies tolerable.

 

Outside my window it is grey and rainy.  No picture of that, what a waste of an image - it is that gloomy - so you will have to just imagine it.  (I think maybe the flowers bloom this time of year to cheer up the gloomy days.  Their colors are incredible against the gloom.  That would be worth a picture....)

 

 

And I find myself thinking about Easter.  Jesus was born and died for the sole purpose of freeing me (and the rest of mankind) from condemnation.  That is to say, when all is said and done the thing that matters most, my standing before God,  is secure.  I don't have to wonder whether God is going to gather me into his arms in a fond embrace or cast me away forever.  My position in that wonderful everlasting hug is secure because Jesus paid the price.

 

So, why don't I live like it?!  Really, you would think that knowing The Father loves me and cares for me, and that there is a place prepared for me in heaven would out shine everything else.  He says that everything is going to work out for those on whom his favor rests...that would be me....so what am I worrying about.   I am free to try anything.  Win or lose, succeed or fail, God is still going to love me, and it is all going to work for my good.  (Not to be confused with "in my favor"....sometimes good feels bad but turns out okay.)  That is beyond awesome!!

 

So why don't I live like it?  Why don't I try new things?  Why don't I venture out and see where the road takes me?  Why don't I laugh and tell stories and share the glorious freedom that has been given to me.  It was free.  I didn't do a thing to earn it, and I know for darn sure that I don't deserve it.  So why am I afraid?  I shouldn't be.

 

Truth....

 

I am not that afraid of people in blog-land.  If you drop my feed it won't really make that much difference to me.  (shocking isn't it?!)

 

I'm not terribly afraid of my neighbors.  I honestly don't know many of them.  (Sad I know) The few that  I do know pretty much believe like I do.

 

I am okay with my kids....I am Mom.  I've got them brain washed into loving me.

 

BUT my husband, my mother, and my brothers all have free access to that sensitive layer just under my skin.  What they think matters to me....maybe more than it should. 

 

I can't help but wonder if maybe I've given something to these few that belongs to someone else.